


Guzzle, Scarf, Wolf

by KHfreak813



Category: Hetalia - Fandom, Naruto, Persona 3
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-08
Updated: 2016-12-08
Packaged: 2018-07-14 15:42:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7177817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KHfreak813/pseuds/KHfreak813
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the gathering of the gluttons! Watch as these four contestants cross over from various fandoms to compete to see who can stomach the most food, to see which one of them can eat the most and the most kinds! Just who will win? Crossover between Hetalia, Naruto Shippūden, and Persona 3. AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Guzzle, Scarf, Wolf

If you like this, feel free to read the other stories on my profile and in my ff.net account! ^_^

Make sure to leave plenty of reviews! They make me happy! XD

Please don't flame! Don't like, don't read.

Disclaimer: I do not own any aspect of Hetalia, Naruto Shippūden, or Persona 3. They belong to their respective owners. I only own this and every other story I have.

* * *

"Welcome everyone! We are all gathered here today to witness this once-in-a-lifetime event!"

Cheers erupted from the innumerable audience seated en masse around a ginormous court bearing a sole desk with four seats, the announcer pacing the length of the area, exciting the viewers.

At that moment, four people came into the premises from the doors on the side, the cheering only growing more boisterous at their entry. "Let me introduce our contestants to this marvelous occasion!" The microphone was held to the mouth of a brunet male who possessed a long curl on the left side of his head and limpid brown eyes, clad in a tan suit over a white dress shirt and red tie on his upper half with black dress pants and shoes on the lower. "And who may you be?"

"Ciao! I'm Feliciano Vargas, also known as Italy!" The auburn exclaimed.

The host chuckled. "You mean you're _from_ Italy, right?"

"Well, I guess..." The addressed sheepishly scratched the back of his neck. "Although I _am_ Italy."

Ignored. "So Vargas, how old are you? Do you have any special skills? Everyone here would like to know!" The deafening roar of the crowd attested to that.

"Umm..." The questioned quirked his head to the side as his chin was rubbed. "Well, I'm 2484—"

"Days, right?" The interjecter subsequently mumbled under his breath in a not-so-quiet manner. "You look a little too old to be about six years old though!"

"No! Years! Years!" The explainer shouted. "I'm 2484—"

Interrupted. Once again. "You mean 24.84 right?" Hand held to the side of his mouth, not-so-whispering to everyone. "Although I have no idea in the world how you can mix up 2484 and 24.84 except on paper. And who keeps track of their ages like that?" Confused murmurs erupted from the spectators, his fellow competitors exchanging strange glances with each other as well.

"NO! NO!" Uncharacteristic scream of frustration. "I'M 2484 YEARS OLD, NOT 2484 DAYS NOR 24.84 YEARS OLD!"

Would everyone believe him now? "...Could you give us an actual age please?" Forced laughter. "I would appreciate if you cut it with the jokes." Yeah...no.

"Oh fine." Even more uncharacteristic sigh of exasperation. "I technically stopped aging at 20—"

Bing! Bing! "There we go! A _real_ age!" Glances to the side. "Although with how you worded it, you make it sound like you had plastic surgery. You know, to make you appear 20 when you're actually 40." Cough into fist. "Kinda like Dorian Gray." Okay, that isn't a fair comparison; Feliciano is _NOT_ a narcissistic 38 year old man who basically traded his soul for eternal youth! Why that b— "Moving on!" The man plastered an obviously fake smile on his face. "So what are your special skills Vargas?"

"As in special abilities? Well..." The hazel glanced up at the sky. "I age _really_ slowly—and have actually stopped—and it's basically impossible to kill me through my body—"

Tick mark. "I thought I told you to can it with the jokes!" Clearing his throat, the announcer adjusted his imaginary bowtie before continuing. "Could you please tell us some _actual_ skills and not some bullcrap you made up on the top of your head?!" That wasn't any better.

"Oh fine!" Wait?! Is this actually Feliciano?! Or is this his elder brother Lovino in disguise?! "I'm good at painting, drawing, art in general, cooking, singing, dancing, designing clothes, doing chores, fencing, trade, taking siestas, and eating pasta." Mouth watering. "Mmm...PAAAAASSSSSTTTTTAAAAAA~!" Yep, it's the former alright.

The fake smile only became faker. "That's better!" Something oh so kind was added under his breath. "Why do I get the feeling you're lying about everything but the last two?" Purposely walking off as a mouth dropped, the host approached a male who had sunny hair wrapped in a raven sash adorning a plated symbol over bluish eyes and a mouth morphed into a whiskered grin all above a black and orange jumpsuit made whole by a zipper and silver plates resting on his shoulders, smiling way too wide. What a fake, fake person. "What's your name young lad?"

"The name is Naruto Uzumaki!" The blond flashed a peace sign. "You better remember! I will leave a mark in the world's history!" He snickered. "Believe it!"

"Fishcake Spiral?!" The guy was appalled. "Excuse me?! We're not in a Chinese restaurant!"

One could _swear_ azure hues flashed crimson for a moment, slits in place of pupils. "Hey! That's my name you jerk!" Teeth gritted. "And it's in Japanese, not Chinese!" Fists clenched. "I'm proud of my name! 'Naruto' was the name of a hero in one of Ero-Sennin's finest books! And I'm proud of my Uzumaki heritage!"

"Calm down! Calm down!" Hands were held up in a placating gesture. "There's no need to get so worked up! I just made a little mistake!" A grimace made its way onto his face. "And Perverted Hermit?" Crossed arms accusingly. "Just what kind of books are you talking about? Some that aren't exactly appropriate? That are far from G-rated material?"

Brow twitched. "Okay, Ero-Sennin _is_ a huge pervert...but the book I'm talking about is actually pretty good _and_ isn't porn! It's called _The Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Shinobi_ you know!" Considering mutters echoed from the audience, bringing a proud smile to the flaxen's face. However...

"Uh? What were you saying?" Rude—and gross—picking of the ear. Wiping the wax off, the host frowned. "Anyways, how old are you Uzumaki?"

Upset that he was ignored, the tawny pouted in a petulant manner, crossing his arms. "...I'm 17 years old."

"Alright! An actual age right off the bat!" Plastic smile. "Unlike a certain someone..." Obviously turning from the brunet's frown, the man continued. "What are your special skills?"

Chin was tapped. "Well...I can mold chakra into jutsu—"

"Chakra?! As in the centers of spiritual power in the human body?!" Eyes widened. "Are you a Hindu?!"

Brow quirked. "I'm not. But yes, that's what chakra is." Moving on. "Another special skill that I have is being able to make clones of myself—"

"Clones?!" Mouth dropped onto the ground. "Are you undergoing a secret cloning project?!"

Face-palm. "What?! No!" The blond crossed his fingers, forming a seal. "Here! Let me show you!" Deep breath. "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"

"What the?!" All mouths smashed into oblivion at the sight which beheld them; Narutos farther than the eye could see suddenly covered every inch of the arena, the eyes of the other three contestants popping straight out of their skulls at the incredulous sight.

As the replicas vanished in a wall of smoke, the original stood there, a proud smirk on his face as he placed his hands on his hips. "Heh, how was that? Cool, huh?"

"...Wow! What an incredible illusion!" The blond fell over in shock. "How did you get all those mirrors inside though?!" The man looked up, scanning the area above. "And where _are_ those mirrors?"

Said blond scowled, rubbing his head while getting up. "That wasn't the Bunshin no Jutsu, that was _Kage_ Bunshin no Jutsu!" Crossed arms. "And there _are_ no mirrors!"

"Then how did you do it? And how were you able to make so many so fast?" Why did it sound like the announcer did not believe him?

The questioned scratched his chin. "Well you see, I have this _huge_ supply of chakra in me, much of it from this demon fox—"

"Demon fox?! What are you, on drugs?!" Oh that was nice. "Demon foxes don't exist!"

Glare. "I have had one sealed inside of me ever since I was born and its name is Kurama—"

"Please! Please! Get out of your fairy tale already!" Choosing that time to abruptly walk off, the host moved onto the next contestant. "And who may you be young lady?"

A woman sporting chestnut tresses held back through a multitude of barrettes over ruby eyes complemented by a crimson bow which brought out the badges pinned to the fabric beside an incarnadine sash wound around her arm spoke into the microphone. "My name is Arisato Minako."

"Minako huh? What a beautiful name!" Why was he being nice to her?! Because she's a girl?! Anyways... "So how old are you Minako?"

The female tapped her chin. "I'm also 17, just like Naruto-san."

"Nice, nice." Slow nod. Seriously, that isn't fair! "And what are your special skills, Minako?"

She smiled. "I'm great with a naginata—"

"Wow! We have an amazon in out midst!" The host beamed.

Giggle. "Thank you." She bowed. "I'm also very social and can crack a joke."

"Amazing!" What flattery; that man didn't seem to like 'jokes' just earlier.

Bow. "Arigato." She commenced upon raising her head back up. "With my naginata, I can perform elemental strikes and I can call upon Personas—"

"You can do magic?! Incredible!" Once again, interrupted.

The maiden barely held back a sigh; after seeing how that guy treated the two contestants before her, she knew it was best to just drop it now. "Thank you. That's all."

"Thank you! Thank you!" Cheers accompanied immediately as the announcer moved on, standing before a male bearing cerulean fringes—which covered one of his grey eyes—who wore an ebon jacket which was decorated with a variety of symbols along with pants of the same color and a necklace around his neck in addition to a sable tie attached to a white button-down. "Who are you?" Wow. What a subtle change.

The addressed sighed. "I am Makoto Yuki."

"...Okay." Under his breath... "Emo." Faking a cough, the host grinned a little too widely as he made to speak once again. "How old are you Yuki?"

Shrug. "I'm 17, just like Minako and Uzumaki."

"And what are your special skills?" Why did he not sound as enthusiastic as he did just seconds ago?

Huff. "I'm dexterous with one-handed swords—"

"—No need to show off." Hypocrite. Yawn. "What else?"

Rolls eyes. "Just like Minako, I can perform elemental strikes with my one-handed swords and I can call upon Personas—"

"How original. Can't you come up with your own skills?" Shake of the head. "Copycat."

The sole silver hue narrowed. "I am good at running, swimming, kendo, telling black comedy, sleeping, and eating."

"Well I wonder why you're here if you don't enjoy eating?" How rude. "I guess not everyone can be a special snowflake." Glare. Purposely ignored. His curiosity was piqued by the sight of an alabaster belt that contained a holster which housed a silver pistol. On two of the four. "Why are you carrying guns Minako, Yuki?"

The atmosphere abruptly sombered. "These are Evokers, what we use to bring out our Personas." Arisato began.

"You all must be wary of the Dark Hour." Makoto resumed where she left off. "It occurs from 12:00am to 1:00am—"

Scoff. "Well no duh. Midnight _is_ the pinnacle of darkness and one hour later won't be that much different—"

"No! You don't understand!" The girl cried. "During the Dark Hour, Shadows emerge! They come to feast on people's souls! We need these Evokers to call upon our Personas—"

Chuckle. "Sweetheart, sweetheart...don't you worry!" The host spoke in a placating yet condescending tone. "There's nothing to worry about! It's all in your imagination!" Glances to the side. "Just how far would juveniles go to excuse themselves possessing guns?"

"But—"

The plastic smile was pasted back on. "That's our four contestants everyone!" The audience erupted into cheers as thunderous applause rang across the premises, drowning her out. However, amongst the deafening claps, some uneasy laughter could be heard. I guess some took that seriously after all...

Amidst the crowd, there were four certain people present.

"Ugh! She's shaming all women by being here!"

"For the love of all that is holy!"

"Tch. Kono Usuratonkachi."

"Shannaro! What a disgrace!"

A girl who had peach hair that was the same color as her blouse which was striated and bore the same accessories as that of Minako's atop sable shorts completed with black boots stood beside a silverette guy who had a red vest over a bleached dress shirt above onyx jeans, a man bearing ebon locks that centered onyx hues contrasting with fair skin with a lavender rope tied around a navy garmet on his waist which wrapped around a slate high-collared jacket and black slacks and a woman distinguished by bubblegum tresses tied through by a scarlet forehead protector showing the same insignia as Naruto over emerald orbs and matching the color of a sleeveless jacket which a pair of elbow guards and gloves complemented above a lavender skirt that covered grey capris—one side obscured by bandages and a navy pouch—and gainsboro boots nearby.

The slate quirked a brow at the other two. "Huh? Who are you talking about?"

"That idiot Naruto." The raven sighed. "To think that idiot wants to participate in an event that will accelerate his descent into a grave."

The apricot perked up. "I know right?! I don't even know what possessed Arisato and Makoto to come here, _especially_ Arisato!"

"Exactly!" The rosette exclaimed. "Who the heck thought it was a good idea to invent such a horrendous competition?!"

The sable sneered. "What kind of morons would actually _cheer_ for the people competing to get a heart attack?"

"DON'T MESS UP FELICIANO!"

"DO YOUR BEST FELI-KUN!"

Spoke too soon. Oh yes, two countries were accounted for as well. One bearing a large frame in addition to blond hair and blue eyes while the other beside him was much shorter and possessed piercing ebon orbs and hair of the same color.

The questioner quirked a brow at the nations. "And who may you be?" Who the heck are these crazy guys?! Said crazy guys stopped their cheering, turning to face the tetrad.

"Konnichiwa, Nihon desu." The introducer bowed. "Otherwise known as Kiku Honda." He smiled as he picked himself back up. "It is my honor to meet you all."

The fulvous cleared his throat. "Hallo, I am Germany. You can call me Ludwig Beilschmidt." He extended a hand. "Who are you four?"

"Sasuke Uchiha." The hand was pointedly ignored by him...

...only to be accepted by the gainsboro. "My name is Akihiko Sanada." A firm handshake was exchanged. "It's nice to meet you two too." He bowed at his country, his country returning the polite gesture.

"I'm Yukari Takeba!" The peach beamed.

The pinkette smiled. "I'm Sakura Haruno."

"So Kiku, Ludwig..." Sasuke quirked a brow. "You were cheering for the guy with brown hair?"

The German nodded. "Ja."

"We are here to wish Feli-kun the best of luck." The Asian's lips quirked up. "We believe in him."

Well...that's a first; someone actually _wanting_ another to get morbidly obese! Two in fact! The Uchiha kept that to himself though. "I see."

"Who do you believe will win?" Japan inquired. "Uchiha-san?"

Huff. "I hate to say this, but Naruto." Rolls eyes. "That idiot has wolfed down bowls and bowls of ramen for all his life without stopping to breathe."

"That's so true!" Sakura face-palmed. "Do you know how much money a person wastes treating him to ramen?! Too much! _Way_ too much!"

Akihiko quirked a brow. "Have you seen Yuki eat? That stomach of his shouldn't even fit in his thin frame!" Shrug. "Same with Minako."

" _Especially_ her!" Yukari whined. "It's a miracle of miracles she isn't a balloon by now!"

The European shrugged. "We'll see..."

"Okay! The food is in!" All attention snapped back to the arena as the announcer spoke once again, their conversation ending as a man who had messy yellow fringes and large brows above emerald orbs in a pink apron entered the scene, wheeling a cart with him. "The contestants will be competing to see who can guzzle the most..." The host held out a hand in a grandeur fashion as the lid was opened— "...scones! Courtesy of Arthur Kirkland!" That right! Wait what?!

One contestant in particular looked like he was about to throw up. "Scones?!" Turning greener and greener.

"HEY!" A certain pair lunged forward, security barely rushing in to hold them back. An intense fury swirled in ebon depths. "ARE YOU TRYING TO POSION THEM?!"

Sapphire fires lit in azure hues. "DO YOU WANT TO KILL THOSE FOUR?!"

"OI! OI!" Emerald orbs narrowed. "My cooking isn't _that_ bad!"

At that moment, a large rat—wait rat?!—wandered into view, clambering up a leg of the carrier, somehow ignoring the fetid stench and putrid appearance as it stole a...scone?...and took a bite only to croak seconds later, the last screams of agony leaving its lips as it died on the spot. Poor creature. As the audience looked on in a mix between horror and confusion, a spotlight suddenly went on. "Introducing the new Arthur Kirkland's 100% Effective Kill-Em-Dead Poison! One bite and you won't ever see the light of day again! Do you have someone you hate? Feed them just one scone and you'll never have to deal with them ever again! Rodents infesting your house? No fear! They'll be eliminated in no time with Arthur Kirkland's 100% Effective Kill-Em-Dead Poison! You all just saw proof for yourselves! Have a weed problem? There's nothing to worry about! Spray liquified Arthur Kirkland's 100% Effective Kill-Em-Dead Poison, and weeds will be a thing of the past! Along with all the life on your lawn! Possibly forever! Coming to stores near you!" How uncalled for.

"HEY! HEY!" This time the jeered himself was held back by a plethora of guards. Despite that, he was not to be silenced, glaring full-force at the host. "YOU KNOW WHO YOU JUST MADE FUN OF?! I'M ENGLAND!"

Snicker. "England? And I thought Vargas was the only nutcase when he called himself 'Italy'." Who's the nutcase?!

"WELL EXCUSE ME?!" Leer of a century! "FOR YOUR INSOLENCE, I CURSE YOU! CURSE YOU YOU HEAR?!" More guards. "YOU'LL LOSE YOUR JOB! YOUR HOME! YOUR SOCIAL STANDING!"

Gross picking of the ear once more. "Huh? What did you say?"

"YOU'LL REGRET THE DAY YOU MESSED WITH ARTHUR KIRKLAND! I'M GOING TO HAVE MY REVENGE!" Subsequently dragged off.

Shrug. "What was that about?" Ignoring the concerned murmurs from the audience, the guy continued as though he had not just had his life threatened. "Anyways...since we can't use the scones anymore in fear of being sued—" Really? "—we'll have to use our backup chefs!" Two claps. "Come on out!"

"Geez, I thought we were going to be stuck with that guy's awful cooking! The woe is me!"

"I know, right-aru?! Poor kids-aru!"

A tall flaxen man bearing a beard on his face and another who possessed brown eyes and had long black hair tied in a ponytail and was dressed in oriental robes entered the stage, trays upon trays of food in their hands. Let's just say the heavenly aroma was able to attract the most insensitive of noses to it, the most tasteless of tongues melting.

"Why were they the backup chefs?" Germany's brow twitched.

Japan scratched his chin. "Maybe the announcer knew that Igirisu-san's cooking is not the most...what you say 'desirable' and did that to showcase just how awful it is."

"That's horrible!" Takeba cried.

Sanada shook his head. "Just how cruel some people can be..."

"Welcome to the world." The Uchiha sneered.

The Haruno was taken aback. "Sasuke-kun! Don't say that!" Ignored.

"Hey! I just noticed something!" All eyes snapped to Akihiko. "All the competitors but Vargas are Japanese!"

Sasuke scoffed. "Naruto, Sakura, and I are actually from Konohagakure, which is in Hi no Kuni...a faraway land that isn't in Japan." Shrug. "Everyone still manages to speak Japanese there though."

"...Right." A faraway land? Like a fairy tale? Moving on. The slate turned, facing the raven nation. "If you really are Nihon, shouldn't you be cheering for Minako and Yuki? They're from your land, making them your children."

Hesitation. "Well while that is true..." Blush! Flames ignited on his face. "Feli-kun is too precious to me! I can't root for anyone else but him, even if the others are my children!"

"...Okay." I wonder why?

A cacophonous screech pierced through the air, forcing everyone to cover their ears and end all existing conversations as all attention deferred back to the stage. The announcer cleared his throat. "Okay, the competition is about to start! Don't take your eyes off the food or else you won't know where it went!"

"Good thing Francis and I prepared an unlimited supply-aru!" The Asian cheered.

The French chuckled. "Don't think Yao and I are joking." He looked at the sky, snapping his fingers. "Helicopters!" As if on cue, aircrafts farther than the eye could see spontaneously appeared, a gale blasting into the arena below as all hovered above. Humongous plates that were fit to be used by the most gigantic of giants were lowered down, a spoon and fork handed to each by the host.

"Oh. My. God." Germany face-palmed. "And France and China are the _backup_ chefs?"

Peach brows shot up. "France?! China?! As in countries?!" Her mouth dropped open as she swiveled to the two nations. "And you're Japan and Germany?!" Smashing into oblivion. "And the one competing is Italy?!"

"Are you guys actually countries?! Or do you guys just call each other by country names for some reason?!" Silver brows were just as high.

Shrug. "We are." The raven responded. "We're personifications of our respective countries."

"We look and act like humans, but aren't." The German seconded.

The Uchiha quirked a brow. "So you're spirits of the countries sealed into human bodies?"

"No, we aren't." The Japanese shook his head. "We're simply embodiments of the countries in human form."

Question marks floated in emerald hues. "...Okay."

"Food!" All eyes drew back onto the French as he screamed that single word, morsels ranging from meats to vegetables to stir-fry to ramen to crêpes to escargot to etcetera raining down, landing into the dishes—miraculously intact—in a multitude of thunderous thuds. It was a miracle upon miracles upon the holiest of miracles no one was hit or killed.

The slate's mouth gaped at the incredulous sight. "You could feed all the people in Africa with that!"

"And it's all wasted on this pointless obesity race." Sasuke mumbled, shaking his head.

The Chinese laughed. "And there is still plenty more where that came from-aru!" Even more helicopters stood at the ready, the sky barely visible amidst the swarm.

"Arisato will _explode_ from all this!" Yukari gasped. "Not even her bottomless stomach will be able to hold all this!"

A certain someone looked ready to pounce. "I'M GOING TO PUNCH THAT KNUCKLE-HEADED NINJA'S FACE IN—"

"Sakura." A suddenly crimson glare locked her in place as their owner narrowed his eyes at her. "Although Naruto is being an utter idiot for participating in such a contest, it's not fair to want to beat him up just because there is an obscene amount of food provided."

The chastised pouted. "Fine."

"The contest is about to start! First, let's give our backup chefs a round of applause!" The announcer cried, cheers erupting as the pair bowed, walking off stage.

A certain four groaned. "My god."

"Shame on her!"

The man cleared his throat. "On your mark..."

"Dobe."

"Baka!"

Grandiose grin. "Get set..."

"DON'T MESS UP!"

"YOU CAN DO IT!"

At last. "GUZZLE! SCARF! WOLF!"

All disaster broke loose; four deprived beasts dug into the chow, gobbling down the torrent of food as though they had been ruthlessly starved for countless eternities—which was not hard to believe upon seeing them tear the mountainous meal apart.

"FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY!" Poor eyes shot out of their owner's skull, blasting into oblivion. You would think such a cool-looking guy would be eating in a cool way, slow with a bored expression on his face; Makoto was the exact opposite, inhaling the food in front of him as though he had never been able to breathe in oxygen in his life, sucking the sustenance in like a vacuum. You would think that a delicate young lady would have the most perfect manners, holding up a certain fork for each food as she graceful placed small portions into her mouth; Minako was the exact opposite, a spoon in each hand as she shoveled scoop after scoop into her maw, akin to a starving lobster shredding its prey apart. For the other two contestants...their gluttonous gobbling was somehow a bit more expected. I wonder why?

The rosette's mouth crashed onto the ground. "Did we just find Naruto's long-lost siblings?!"

"No." Her eyes snapped to the male beside her, said male sighing. "While I had my Sharingan activated, I wasn't able to see any chakra coming from those three. Seeing as Naruto's father was Yondaime and his mother was the previous Jinchūriki to Kurama, it would be next to impossible for them to have children who cannot generate chakra." Huff. "And I highly doubt either would try to repress it especially since they are choosing to stay visible to us."

Sweat-drop. "Okay! Okay! I wasn't being serious!" Or was she?

"What the heck?!" Let's just say all four were almost done with their plates. The apricot shrieked. "THOSE PIGS!"

At the incredulous sight, the host smirked. "Let's up the ante!" Snaps fingers. Day suddenly turned to night as more helicopters than one could ever hope to count manifested out of nowhere, the stadium flooding with food.

"THE HORROR! THE HORROR!"

Akihiko felt faint. "Where did all that food go—" Sudden collapse.

"Those morons!" Sasuke sneered.

Sakura gasped. "OH MY GOD!"

Barring the rest of the audience and pretentious host, the actions of the gluttons were frowned upon. By those who actually knew them.

"WOO! YOU'RE DOING GREAT FELICIANO!"

"YOU ARE SIMPLY INCREDIBLE FELI-KUN!"

Of course, there are exceptions to every rule.

* * *

_Hours later..._

Mountains have come and gone, gale-force winds tearing through the sky as more and more aircrafts came back with more and more morsels. Sanada was right; where did all that food go?! Each must have eaten millions of times more than their total masses and then some! However...

"Whoa! Are some of the contestants actually starting to slow down?!" Gasps rang out across the crowd; the pace of devouring for three of the four was starting to become progressively less rapid! Shock! "Uzumaki, Minako, and Yuki are starting to fall behind!" Wait, no mention of Vargas?! Why?!

Exchanging a glance, the last two nodded to each other before reaching down, pulling out certain objects from their holsters. The announcer gasped. "Minako and Yuki have pulled out their guns! Are they going to shoot—" Raised to their own temples "—OH MY GOD! ARE THEY GOING TO KILL THEMSELVES?! WE CAN'T HAVE TEENS COMMITTING SUICIDE ON OUR WATCH!" Oh wow. "SECURITY!"

"Oh my god!" Just having regaining consciousness only seconds before, the slate face-palmed at the sight he was greeted with.

Takeba shook her head. "To think those guys were pushed into doing this!"

"PERSONA!"

"PERSONA!"

Horror struck the German. "ZUM TEUFEL?!"

"IYA!" Who would want to see their children point guns at their own heads?!

The Haruno was frozen in terror. "Are they really going to kill themselves?! We better stop—"

"Don't." The Uchiha's hands shot out, preventing the three from going any further as he grabbed their wrists.

Germany glared. "What the heck?!"

"What are you—" The countries were immediately silenced by a piercing crimson gaze boring into their eyes, the female the same.

Guards poured into the arena from every possible entrance. "STOP!"

"SMETTERE!"

"YAMERO!"

Even the other two contestants had ceased, not wanting their opponents to take their own lives as they rushed over.

BAM!

BAM!

Too late. Everyone was deathly silent. Even the host appeared traumatized. "...This must have been too much for them—"

"I am thou..." Gasps rang out as what appeared to be crystals swirled around the supposedly suicidial pair, forming into a myriad of figures. "Thou art I...From the sea of thy soul, I come..."

Feliciano gasped. "What are they?!"

"That's what I'd like to know!" Naruto exclaimed, echoing his sentiment.

The increasingly loud murmurs of the crowd attested to the astonishment of almost everyone present. "Personas." All eyes snapped onto Akihiko as that one world left his lips.

"Personas are manifestations of a Persona user's personality and are like masks for them to use to face hardships." Those eyes flicked towards Yukari as she continued speaking. "Personas are manifestations of one's inner thoughts but tamed and trained."

Sasuke grunted. "I had a feeling those two were up to something." He glanced at the three he had stopped. "That's why I prevented you from interfering."

"...Sokka." Japan gave a single nod.

The same gesture was repeated by Germany. "...Ich sehe."

"...Sugoi, Sasuke-kun." Sakura breathed.

A question floated in apricot hues. "But wait! Why would they call upon their Personas at a time like this?!"

"Orpheus, Thanatos, Messiah, Orpheus Telos..." The male began, the four beings surrounding him deferring to him.

The host stared wide-eyed at the scene before him. "Whoa! What are these two trying to do?! Perform a holy cleansing with these heavenly beings?!" And something muttered under his breath... "I should try shooting myself more often." The audience came to life, speculations running rampant as well as some startling agreements.

"...Help me in my struggle!" The female cried out, arms dramatically flared out. "Help me eat all this food!"

The host fell over in shock. "Hey! Hey! That's cheating!" He screamed as he got back up, scowling angrily.

"Did you not hear what our Personas said earlier?" Makoto quirked a brow. "'I am thou...thou art I', remember?"

Arisato beamed. "In other words, our Personas _are_ us! Therefore we aren't breaking any rules!"

"...Okay." Well, the host had no way to refute that.

A grin graced the Uzumaki's face, leaping back. "Yoshi! If they can do that, then I can do this!" He crossed his fingers. "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" Once again, an endless number of Narutos manifested once more. However, that wasn't all. What happened next shocked everyone in attendance beyond belief; muzzles took place of mouths as orange ears containing ebon within sprouted from the sides of faces, nine saffron tales emerging from each as they expanded tremendously in size, only a miracle upon miracles preventing the entire stadium from being destroyed from the inside out in a dynamic explosion of debris. Or how no one was crushed to death. Or how none of the food was smushed into complete oblivion.

"WHAT THE?!" Microphone dropped. Not that it was needed for the volume the man was now yelling in. "WHAT ARE YOU?! A MONSTER?!" Fearful cries echoed across the audience, the fears definitely shared amongst a large group of people.

Said 'monster' growled. "I'M CURRENTLY TAKING ON KURAMA'S FORM IN BIJUU MŌDO!" Snarl. "YOU WEREN'T LIKE THIS EARLIER!"

"...You're right." Wow, that was easily resolved. Apologies could be heard across the board, all regretting how they had acted. Wow, easily resolved indeed. Realization dawned on the MC as he picked up the mic, speaking into it once again. "But how is _this_ move legal?!"

The 'vulpines' snickered. "My Shadow Clones _are_ me and Bijuu Mōdo is just an alternate form of me!" There you have it.

"Fine, fine." Sigh loudly. "What kids these days do to win."

Surveying his surroundings, a certain someone's spirits plummeted to absolute zero. "Mio Dio." Italy muttered as he stared at the numerous beings and kitsunes. "How can I win? I can't call upon Personas nor can I make clones of myself and transform!" Droop. "I'm such a loser compared to these three—"

"DON'T SAY THAT!" Limpid brown eyes became saucers as their owner whirled around, meeting fiercely burning ebon orbs.

Sapphire fires were just as intense. "IT'S FAR FROM OVER! THIS HASN'T BEEN DECIDED YET!"

"But—"

No buts. "DON'T GIVE UP!"

"Germania, Giappone..." The light returned to limpid brown eyes, the blithe pumping a fist. "I'll do my best."

Two hearts warmed. "I believe in Feli-kun."

"As do I." Warmed indeed. Sigh. "You know, he is the only one _not_ bending the rules."

A throat cleared, returning all attention back to the announcer. "Alright everyone! Let's resume!" And what a disaster that turned out to be; what appeared to be the most holy of gods seemed to be nothing more than depraved demons as they sucked up all sustenance within bounds, ginormous ravenous canines gobbled down huge amounts of morsels—surprisingly not eating any humans—without pause, and a certain Italian happily slurped up all the food he could get his hands on. One was not like the others.

"I hate to break this to you..." Blue and black eyes turned to a set of emerald whose possessor shook her head. "...but I think you gave your friend false hope."

Sasuke sighed. "Not only did Naruto make innumerable clones of himself, but they all became giant demon foxes. One has a stomach that must be over thousands of times the size of Feliciano's body. Imagine that times who knows what number?"

"Don't count Minako and Yuki out though." Akihiko interjected. "They both have Wild Card abilities, which allows them to control multiple Personas at once—although I say what a waste of such an ability." Snort. "Personas are manifestations, ethereal beings if you will." Shrug. "Just because they only have four each and are much smaller than those foxes, doesn't mean you should count them out."

Yukari humphed. " _Especially_ Arisato." Arms crossed. "I mean, she has a perfect hourglass figure which puts the most beautiful of models to shame yet she eats like a total slob who belongs in Biggest Loser!"

"We'll see who emerges in due time, Feli-kun or not." Chin was rested on steepled fingers, sable hues staring ahead.

Another pair of sable hues did the same. "Yes, let's."

* * *

"Well there you have it folks! At long last, we have our winner!"

Applause echoed off the huge stadium walls, nearly drowning out the announcer in the thunderous claps.

The host laughed. "After several hours of arduous munching, the field is once again bare! Every single helicopter has been emptied! And amongst these four, only one remains standing!"

"Oh. My. God."

"The horror! The horror!"

Continuing on. "This one individual managed to consume the most food out of everyone else yet looks like he can still eat more!"

"That idiot."

"Kono baka!"

Hand sticking out in a grandiose fashion. "This one beat all the odds stacked against him no matter how bleak the situation became! The winner is—"

"GLÜCKWUNSCH!"

"OMEDETŌ!"

Drum roll. "—Feliciano Vargas!" A spotlight shone on the victor, confetti raining from an imaginary source.

"GRAZIE! GRAZIE!" The blithe happily took the trophy offered to him, bounding over to his fellow former Axis, tackling them to the ground in a tight hug. "THANKS FOR BELIEVING IN ME!" Wait?! How could he even move?!

Meanwhile, the losers were lying on the ground, groaning in absolute pain. That's what eating too much does to you. One managed to lift himself up, forcing an azure eye open. "B-But how?! I basically had the stomach of a million beasts!" Said million beasts had vanished due to the multiple explosions they had suffered.

"I hate to break this to you..." Germany began as he picked himself up, a certain someone still clinging onto him nevertheless. "...but that's nothing compared to having a stomach the size of a country."

A sole silver hue popped out. "The size of..."

"...a country?!" Both Persona users subsequently dropped back down, their manifestations beside them, appearing not-so-heavenly at the moment.

All stared wide-eyed, frozen in the most horrid of shock as the three nations walked out, smiles on the trio's faces.

* * *

"What's this?!"

After hosting the—pointless—event, the MC had returned home, looking forward to a good night's sleep. Putting on plastic smiles _did_ strain a person after all. But just as he got to the door...

...a letter of eviction had greeted him. Could things get any worse? RING! RING! The guy took his cell phone out, answering to the call...which caused him to hurl the device into oblivion. "I'VE BEEN FIRED?!"

"Hey, what are you doing here scum?" The addressed whipped around, glaring at the mailman...

...who didn't so much as flinch. "Excuse me?" He snatched the collar of the uniform, bringing himself face-to-face with the offender. "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?!"

"You heard me." The worker scoffed, prying himself loose. "Lower class lowlifes don't belong here."

A mouth dropped open. What the heck is going on?!

"HAHAHA! I told you I'd have my revenge!" Evil cackling could be heard off in the distance.

Don't mess with England.

* * *

Translation:

•German: Hallo=Hi, Ja=Yes, Zum Teufel=What the heck, Ich sehe=I see, Glückwunsch=Congrats

•Japanese: Naruto=Fishcake, Uzumaki=Spiral, Ero-Sennin=Perverted Hermit, Kage Bunshin no Jutsu=Shadow Clone Technique, Bunshin no Jutsu=Clone Technique, Arigato=Thank you, Kono=This, Usuratonkachi=Thin Hammer, Konnichiwa=Hello, Nihon desu=I am Japan, Hai=Yes, Igirisu=England, Konohagakure=Hidden Leaf, Hi no Kuni=Land of Fire, Dobe=Dead-last, Baka=Idiot, Sharingan=Copy Eye Wheel, Yondaime=Fourth, Jinchūriki=Power of Human Sacrifice, Iya=No, Yamero=Stop, Sokka=I see, Sugoi=Amazing, Yoshi=Alright, Bijuu Mōdo=Tailed Beast Mode, Omedetō=Congrats

•Italian: Ciao=Hello, Smettere=Stop, Mio Dio=My God, Germania=Germany, Giappone=Japan, Grazie=Thank you

How was it?

**Please review! I really appreciate them and they motivate me to write more!**


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